The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! Stupid Jokes are Good for the Soul. Oh my gourd, I'm stuffed. so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery. "Big deal," Viktor says, "I can do that too." He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. 25. The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election. Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing? WASHington. Bill Gates: "Then ok!" He asks the barkeep "How's the country? "When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two -- and didn't like it -- and didn't inhale and never tried . A Chinese couple came to stay in Ghana and had a baby but the . The guard says "like I already told you he is no longer president". George Bush Jokes 8. Presidentures.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-box-4','ezslot_5',181,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-4-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-box-4','ezslot_6',181,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-4-0_1');.box-4-multi-181{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Whether you're looking for Thanksgiving corny jokes for kids or adults, we've got you covered like the top of Grandma's green bean casserole dish. **Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. and please let me know what it is when you've found it. 16 because its the first time they can legally drive. Hillary looks back at Bill and says I'd be married to the President of the United States Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Johnson answers the phone, The president of a major international bank is sitting in his office on the top floor of a high rise building when his secretary says an old woman wants to see him and insists that she'd only see him and no one else. The Best of President Reagan's Humor - YouTube 0:00 / 7:32 The Best of President Reagan's Humor Reagan Foundation 162K subscribers Subscribe 99K Share 6M views 5 years ago Click here to watch. If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds. or There's a term for presidents like Trump. Bill Gates said, OK. But his balls were too big to fit through the double doors. *gasp* "The doctor??" Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session. Donald Trump has announced that now he's President he's going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Adult jokes are awsome !!! People who tell you they're constipated are full of crap. Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? His father told his son to come with him to get a whipping. Tickle your funny bone with the best Reader's Digest jokes of all time. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved Its completely unprecedented. In the piano! About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled. bartleby, the scrivener full text; lady prom dress location; capitalized interest on loan journal entry; nest holiday diffuser refill; house party discord server Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session. "That's excellent! Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable? Barackoli! Aides say he was merely taking a Covfefe break. When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could. God: Joseph R. Biden He shockingly asks the doctor touting with him why this patient is doing this with the door wide open. He wakes up as the ghost of George Washington appears. "I want you inside me." 3. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. Jesus says "that's Mother Teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied.". He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States.". 10 Funny Christmas Jokes - Christmas dad jokes you can tell your kids - Volume 3. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? At the chopping mall. We both died on Friday by gunshot to the head. Play fair and share the laughter to a room full of people. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". It helps lower blood pressure and reduces feelings of pain and tension. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous baseball player? . They both got beaten by a kid named Johnny. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War? After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! That should be: Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? 8. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears. He might get to be president for the rest of his life. This means that she decides things like where to take our next vacation, the color of our next car, and the construction budget for adding on the new family room. Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months. Brittney says, "America is the best! Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson! A cornfield. I can go to the White House, demand to see the president, and tell him I don't like the way he's running this country." Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy. >**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night. She tells the woman, "You're ticket says coach maam and we have a full flight today. His first act is to issue an executive order to the U.S. Mint. " The virus has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes. Its called operation give them a full tank of gas. Jokes About Presidents' Day If you enjoyed our funny Presidents' Day jokes, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, including our Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents' Day trivia questions, as well as these: Donald Trump Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Halloween Jokes For Adults Joe Biden Jokes How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None. After his stunning performance, he ended up with a time of 9:52, narrowly missing the record. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose. Police surround him and handcuff him. ", he answered: George Bush has ***ked up so bad, he made it hard for a white man to run for president! Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? ** Find qualified tutors in your area today! "Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Was General Washington a handsome man? Yes, he was George-eous!! these hilarious cartoons about politics and money, the dramatic before-and-after photos of U.S. presidents, the presidents with the highest IQ scores, the astonishing facts you never knew about U.S. presidents, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. 11. 16. Get ready to share some laughs! Ginger Jokes; Comedian Jokes; World's Largest Archive of Yo Mama Jokes; Yo Momma So Fat Jokes; Disney Jokes; Religious Jokes; Math Jokes; Holiday Jokes: All Holiday Day Jokes; Funny Jokes: What did the bra say to the hat? I have some good news and some bad news. apparently America did too. You go on ahead while I give these two a lift! Dad: "Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank." 5. 26. Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin? Because it was too cold to be born outside! The NYPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. Her response was simply, "No, but there. What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Ape Lincoln. He wants to make America grate again. He told his aide, They landed and I went up to the leader and greeted him in peace. \*\* Dad goes to Bill Gates. After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport? Because its way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine. ** If you enjoyed our funny Presidents Day jokes, why not check outthe rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, includingour Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents Day trivia questions, as well as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. "Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here." But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair. We're successful." Every day is a day to celebrate! Now do you know why his father didnt punish him? Little Johnny replied, Because he still had the axe in his hand.. Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached You could say it was unpresidented. This announcement was made by Vladimir Poutine. But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway. Stop, drop, and pass the rolls! There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. "My fellow Americans," he said, "I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will. See more ideas about funny, bones funny, funny quotes. What do you call a pig that does karate? His humongous balls keep getting stuck in the doorway. 10. We suggest to use only working presidential presidential election piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Because he couldnt lie. Check out these27 Best Presidential Jokes we have found for you. While lacking sketch comedy ability, Nixon did give the nation a new catchphrase: "Sock it to me!" Now, what did you say was the bad news? It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation. Many of the president president obama puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. What was George Washingtons favorite tree? What is wrong?" Nobody knows what may happen. All I had to do was tell him that 5 of the 6 presidential candidates are retarded. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? 15 Best Barack Obama Jokes Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate. So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. Other top 10 jokes you may also like. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke.) Unfortunately, he soon learned that Bush did 9:11. Manage Settings Author: laffgaff.com Date Published: 05/12/2021 Ratings: 3.62 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: Presidents' Day Jokes And Puns. Liked these presidential jokes? She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend. "You, great president! Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same. Funny Presidents' Day Jokes, puns, riddles, knock-knock jokes and more. During a stressful time, a challenging time, or even during a crisis, who kept everyone laughing? I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!" This joke is 50 years ahead of its time. Clinton replied, "Boxers" What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?. Im from Nepal. . I didn't vote for him. How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House? A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. 14. Nothing at all, boss. He . Dad: "My son is the CEO of the World Bank." Both books were destroyed! Q: What do you get when you cross the president of the United States of America and a chicken? **Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past. A: Baggawk Obama! We recommend our users to update the browser. ", says the boy. ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. The batroom. Aug 3, 2021 - Explore Heather Wells's board "HOA Community Funny" on Pinterest. She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth. Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. Funny Jokes for Adults Clean 1. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. Jimmy 03/01/2023 Jokes Tags: Classic Jokes Puns Family Friendly Jokes. One involved a Johnson from the south and some violations relating to a staff member and the other was the 1868 impeachment of Andrew Johnson. 50 years ahead of its time jill replies, oh, he took it Grant-ed... 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