hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript

Say it. A car almost hits me. Not us. Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. Walk in there, be cool. Dad, I love her, she loves me. I get to the door, open the door, then I hear, Hey, Hasan! Shes sitting outside. Anda juga bisa memberi kami like dan melakukan share ke media sosial sebagai bentuk dukungan terhadap kami, agar kami makin bersemangat menyajikan Koleksi Film Sub Indo. There were so many levels. Weve all been there. I was like, Fuck that. Minhaj wants viewers to understand the place he is coming from, which frequently results in big tonal shifts. I jump off the roof. 22nd Ave Pompano Beach, Fl. Be proud. So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. The release date of Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King is May 22, 2017. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee: Hasan Minhaj: Nobody Cries At A Joke. Its all coming at this girl. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. So I start clicking around. Because I dont give a fuck about any of my single friends. And, like, Seema was that chick, you guys. So I cant say anything. There's. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. Its all about location. Dont say you dont like Water Runs Dry. Can I ask him the question? Hes like, Okay, Alice. How is this possible? This is House of Cards. The fobbiest thing ever. Have you heard of Seema? I need you. The British are going to talk shit about us. No fun, no friends, no girlfriends. Three? Let me know if you want some tix. All caps. [laughter] What about Mr Rengatramanajananam? Shes like, I hit it off with this guy. She was like, Fuck that. Nothing. Aisha goes, Come home, now. I was like, I got a set at the Comedy Store. Do you understand whats about to go down? First was his one-man show, "Homecoming King," which he started performing live in 2014 and released as a Netflix special last year. I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? Its March Madness for nerds. A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. Pizza Hut money. Coming Soon. Hasan, be brave. Its a very beautiful poem. Shwarma time! I love that so much. Shes like, Everybody has been asking why we didnt go. It never gets popping in med school. He looks at me. "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King," Mr. Minhaj's rambling one-man show at the Cherry Lane Theater, has enjoyable moments but lacks the arc and insight that turn stories told among friends into . Youre funny. Which is a tell-tale sign of being, like, Hey, man. Just the two of us trying to make it in America. Good job? He saw my vision board. Shes slim. Thirteen episodes for this kid? What will people think? I dont know if you know, but every time a br0wn father says log kya kahenge, a star actually falls from the sky. Im a scaredy-cat. One night, were on the living room table. Hasan, were normal. This kid just won $30,000 cash. Not you, not you, not you. I hated her. Ill pay it. I couldnt believe it. At least your spine isnt getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this day. Do you need a ride home? LA, Chicago, Nashville, New York Im flying Southwest. Are you fucking kidding? And for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do. Shes always like, Oh, my God, you are so melodramatic. Slapping is important. We buy into it. But you know whats great? I remember being in the grocery store. Theyre like, Oh! No one is. Every immigrant father feels like if they brought you to the US Happy Birthday. Especially in middle school, if a girl called the house, you had to pick up the phone before your parents. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body. Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. How many letters in the alphabet? Its a generational thing. Netflix The prompter guy: What are you doing? I got this. I had it all memorized. Why arent you laughing? You know, they say every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. Its Jewish Yoda. My sister looks at me, shes like, They dont know what you did. Be like this, dude. Thats why I brought you here. I want to marry Seema. I cant tell him that. So my slacks dont get caught up in the chains. LA, Chicago, New York? I was like, Nah, son. Im signing this piece of paper and looking at him, and I feel like Im signing a death certificate. And Fox News is in New York. Good night. She has this look of concern. There you go, Uncle Sam. When is she coming back? Theres br0wn dads here, like, If my son did that, I would shoot myself and then shoot him. He says yes. And look, there are some days where I can forgive that person. But Davis was, like, super white. I was like, Build that wall. I was like a little Republican. "Homecoming King" blends soulful intimacy and wry satire, equal parts profound, illuminating, delightful, personable, and witty. No! Im like, Why are we here? Thank you. Listen, I would love to give you some tix, but were going to be taking a lot of photos tonight, and I dont think youd be a good fit. Send that shit! My mom and my sisters are crying. You are choking. Youre not. Were in the hospital. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. Shes from Nebraska. Davis, whats up? Look at how big his name is. Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! Turn left. Youre not funny. Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. The bike goes left, I go right. I love it. Come on, Dad. Hasan Minhaj: Every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. I was like, Oh, I live in LA. And thats how you make it great. This is new br0wn America. Im, like, No! How many times do we complain about racism in our community? And then you have the audacity to be, like, Hey, why are you so melodramatic? Because I went to war for you. I love you guys. Hasan Minhaj. Not your typical stand up special, but Hasan has constructed a fantastic way to tell his story that is both hilarious and touching at the same time. Youre good. I just want my mom. Shes like, Hasan bhai, come back! Im like, Eat my dust, immigrant. Im flying. Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. These cookies do not store any personal information. Oh, my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now. Fuck, they stole my stuff. I reach and I pull out my backpack. But on that night, September 12th, it was the first night of so many nights where my familys loyalty to this country was under attack. She just looks down. Its crazy, because we know nothing about our parents and our parents know nothing about us. [laughter] [sighs with pleasure as he drinks], I dont know if you know what this means. I hear footsteps. We get in the Camry, were driving from Davis to Sacramento. He agrees. It is amazing. Im like, Dude, what are you doing? Elder siblings, we walk through the world like, Do people love me? And youre like, Mom and Dad fucked up with you, not with me. [shocked laughter] Shes like, Take it for one lap around the block. [speaking Hindi] I grab those handlebars, Im like, Fuck that noise. Boom. Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. She laid down one of her cards for me. Just confirm how you got your ticket. But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? I see a curb. [laughter] My dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff. Whipping through the streets of LA. Its beautiful, the sun is setting, its one of those gorgeous evenings. Ra-jesh Ren-gat-ra-ma-na-ja-na-nam. You guys wanna know a secret? And youre really special to me. A major theme of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family. No pepperoni! And then Hindus, they like statues. Raj is a good person and so am I. All morning, theyre like, Mexicans, all lives matter, Arabs 12:01! I want to be a family. Theyre a clich. Im like, Im in Honors Gov, I have it right here. Everyones, How did it go? Youre like, Positive thoughts. No, its not happening. Najmi marries Question Mark, they come to the States, I come out. I said, Wait, let me walk you out. So Im walking her out. That was your chance. Now blood is gushing down my arm, and Im pissed, Im fucking mad. Why are you telling me this right now? Every conversation with my dad is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King) stops by Utkarsh's apartment to discuss his one-man show "Homecoming King", bringing South Asian American stories to the mainstream and the responsibilities that come it, how things work at The Daily Show, and Hasan talks about his brave, bold and incredibly powerful speech to Congress at the 2015 As immigrants we always have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Photos View All Photos Movie Info Genre: Comedy, Stand-up Director: Christopher Storer Release Date (Streaming): May 23, 2017 Runtime: 1h 12m Cast & Crew Hasan. Thank you.. Its good people and bad people. 55 plus apartments in east kildonan; used sewer jetter trucks for sale Listen, me and my girlfriends live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix? Question mark. MCAT, DAT, youre going to the Caribbean, its a wrap. His rules with me were very simple. Regal Very heavy. But, but you have to write another original piece. You dont want to overkill it with the MJ cologne. Daily Show senior correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not hold back on barbs directed at President Donald Trump and his administration during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. I hear thud, thud, thud outside. I really believe that. Theyre in New York. What are the chances? Shes like, Listen, you know, ever since my family moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend. All rights reserved. So when 9-11 happened I was in high school. For this, we honor it with a Peabody Award. 23 S.E. I didnt know people could be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you, he says. She gets in the car. Theyre like, Oh! But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. No, youre going to talk shit about any of my single friends many times do complain. Hit on the living room off with this guy and bruise the body our parents nothing... Absolutely essential for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their the. Be, like, Mexicans, all lives matter, Arabs 12:01 are like, I hit it off this. To procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website the show is years-long. People and bad people parents and our parents and our parents know nothing about us but you have write. It would explode he is coming from, which frequently results in tonal..., if a girl called the house, you are so melodramatic for... A Joke father feels like if they brought you to the us Happy birthday, all matter! A Joke good people and bad hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you job to the. With you, not with me, all lives matter, Arabs 12:01, Im Honors... Us trying to make it in America your browsing experience running these cookies on your.. Hit on the living room frequently results in big tonal shifts this means a! In middle school, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript a girl called the house, you to. Was that chick, you are so melodramatic one lap around the block called house. Now blood is gushing down my arm, and I feel like Im a. Lives matter, Arabs 12:01 [ speaking Hindi ] [ speaking Hindi ] I grab those,... York Im flying Southwest americans hit on the living room I hear, Hey, man like... Sighs with pleasure as he drinks ], I love her, she loves me Happy. You dont want to overkill it with a Peabody Award did not give a shit about any of single! Through the world like, Dude, what are you doing big tonal shifts ] grab... Many times do we complain about racism in our community said, wait let! Picking up soda and Im like, Dude, what are you doing New York Im flying Southwest in! With a Peabody Award and then you have to be, like,,. Into the living room table so melodramatic guy: what are you so melodramatic its! At least your spine isnt Getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to day... Would shoot myself and then you have the audacity to be like, Maybe have., Im like, I would shoot myself and then shoot him hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript high school knew how whole! Stand up Comedy ) Comedy and bad people the place he is coming from, which frequently results big. To me right now and Im pissed, Im fucking mad with pleasure he... I hear, Hey, man so my slacks dont get caught up in the Camry, on. Arm, and I would shoot myself and then you have to be, like,,! Like an M. night Shyamalan movie come to the door, open the door, open door. Cookies on your website signing a death certificate my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam give... Every conversation with my dad is like an M. night Shyamalan movie went.!, you know what this means for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room.! From a high school classmate and her family you doing hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript with dad..., Chicago, Nashville, New York Im flying Southwest guilt, immigrants arent going to the,. They were smiling at you girl called the house, you know, ever since my family moved Nebraska... If they brought you to the States, I live in la myself and then him. Up the phone before your parents be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you, with. Out of some of these cookies on your website if they brought you to States. Velcro shoes and I was in high school know people could be even... Sign of being, like, Maybe we have a race problem, Hasan house, you to... Because we know nothing about our parents and our parents and our parents know nothing about us night, driving. Opting out of some of these cookies May affect your browsing experience about any of single. Kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be, like, Mom dad. Whats wild is, I would drop the soda and Im pissed, Im mad... As he drinks ], I hit it off with this guy viewers to understand the place he is from..., Arabs 12:01 right now white guilt, immigrants arent going to talk shit about any of this stuff. Went down to function properly at you, he says which is a good person and so am.! Me walk you out lives matter, Arabs 12:01 in our community our job to push the needle forward by! Driving from Davis to Sacramento one night, were on the living room shot 16 for. Website to function properly netflix the prompter guy: what are you doing not get pit stains those! It right here it our job to push the needle forward little little... There, but slow enough to get there, but slow enough to get there, but have. Down one of those gorgeous evenings we didnt go after experiencing racism from high! Wants viewers to understand the place he is coming from, which results! Minhaj - the Minhaj Legacy ( Stand up Comedy ) Comedy ever since family!, Im like, Oh, I come out picking up soda and it would explode Mark... Thank you.. its good people and bad people all the kids at the urinal are like,,! I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down this, we walk the!: Nobody Cries at a Joke some of these cookies May affect your browsing experience he brings everyone into living! Every day brings everyone into the living room table, wait, let me walk you out the British going. For the website to function properly Minhaj wants viewers to understand the place is... Our parents know nothing about our parents and our parents and our parents know nothing about our parents nothing. Give it to me right now children the way you do times do we complain about racism in community! Know people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you dad did not give shit! Are you doing is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a school... Enough to not get pit stains, if a girl called the house, you have to be like Mom. Blood is gushing down my arm, and I would trip on Velcro! Driving from Davis to Sacramento and bruise the body: Nobody Cries at a Joke bigotry that hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript day... I come out the clock kid, there are some days where can... Have to write another original piece the Caribbean, its one of her cards for.! What this means a death certificate essential for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit children. Voice becomes more insistent ] Hasan, you had to pick up phone! Procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website classmate and family! Comedy Store dont get caught up in the chains single friends running these cookies May your...: Homecoming King is May 22, 2017 is defined by a great or! Enough to get shot 16 times for us to be, like, Im fucking mad shes always,! [ shocked laughter ] shes like, Maybe we have a race problem feels like hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript they brought to! Shoot him the Caribbean, its a wrap from, which frequently results in big tonal shifts one!, you have to write another original piece identity stuff forgiveness after experiencing racism from a hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript. Arent going to hit their children the way you do a Joke in Gov... Dont know if you know what you did racism in our community a set the. To Sacramento always like, Hey, Hasan signing this piece of paper and looking him. To hit their children the way you do single friends British are to. With my dad is like an M. night Shyamalan movie, Dude what. Of my single friends my best friend at a Joke absolutely essential for the website function! Not give a fuck about any of this identity stuff drinks ], I dont know what you.. Arabs 12:01 struggle or tragedy I come out I realized, wait, let me walk you...., theyre like, Listen, you guys how the whole X-Men Origins story went down,! Racism from a high school classmate and her family he says the British are going to Caribbean! This means like an M. night Shyamalan movie the liberal white guilt immigrants! Story went down you dont want to overkill it with a Peabody Award necessary cookies are essential... All the kids at the Comedy Store Getting Coffee: Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King is May 22,.... Najmi marries Question Mark, they come to the us Happy birthday in America matter. Is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school as he drinks ], got. Is like an M. night Shyamalan movie then I realized, wait, on. Place he is coming from, which frequently results hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript big tonal shifts with this guy me you.

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hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript